Bellies for Brunch
With a wide variety of friends, comes a wide variety of ages. I am fortunate to have women friends and relatives who are anywhere from 20-70+. What’s wonderful about that is not only do I have amazing women friends but I have women friends who are all in varying stages of their lives.
They are in stages where I am growing into, or they are in stages where I have been. With some we have walked alongside each other in the challenges of being teenagers, married, became mothers, remarried and had more babies. Others I have watched and heard the stories and heartaches of raising teenagers who become adults and go off to college and what life as an empty nester is like. Some chose not to have children and I have witnessed the gifts that come with choosing a different path. I’ve sat with those who want a partner, to those with marriages that are hard and sometimes unhealthy. Harder still, sitting with the friend who wants a baby but has no partner, and those like me who have miscarried one or more babies.
The flip side, being there for the younger, remarkable women friends who face all the same dark places we have walked. The learning, growing and support goes both ways. As women, if we are lucky, get to have these relationships where age doesn’t matter. It is the connection of the heart and mind where we support, encourage, hold each other up, and sometimes have to tell each other the hard truths that will make or break our relationships.
Right now though, I am finding myself in a funny place. My younger friends are having babies. So far four friends have had babies in the last four years. It has been wonderful to watch them growing through their pregnancies, and becoming mothers. I watch them in awe as they consciously raise their children with community and partners who are loving, supportive and involved. There were only so many of us who had those type of partners when I was having my children and I am one who had, and still does have, that type of support.
One of my friends is getting very close to having her first child. It is a wonderful time of anticipation and I am so happy for her. The funny part, the part that is taking some getting used to for me, is that about four to six weeks after my friend’s due date, my own daughter is set to have her first child. My first grandchild. It’s one thing for friends to have babies, and something completely different for your child to have a baby. It seems like a simple thing… but everything that this baby means; my daughter’s first baby, my first grandbaby … It’s a lot to take in.
My mother is a grandmother. I am not a grandmother. I am the mom. Now my daughter is going to be a mom. The roles are changing and I don’t have a clear idea of how this is all going to play out. On social media there are many people I know who are grandparents and they share pictures of their beautiful grandchildren. They love the new role in their lives.
I watch my daughter as her body continues to grow this little human inside of her. Her skin is radiant. She is glowing. Her belly increases making itself known to the world. Not only is her body changing, she is changing, and her thoughts and ideas now include someone else who lives in a little womb world.
Our family is changing. The dynamics and roles that everyone has been living will now change as they become aunts and uncles, cousins, great aunts and great uncles, grandparents and great grandparents. I wish my grandparents were alive right now to see what our family has become and is becoming.
Recently, over brunch, I introduced the friend I mentioned earlier to my daughter. I was calling it “bellies for brunch.” I enjoyed listening to them talk about their pregnancies and witnessing their loving and supportive husbands join in the conversation. Listening to them talk made me think about the days of my pregnancies and sharing all of the joys and challenges of new motherhood with supportive friends.
Change is a part of life. My transition from mother to grandmother may take a little time, but it is a change I look forward to and one I am embracing. I am ready to meet this new person who will change not only my daughter’s life forever but mine as well. I am also ready to be supportive of my daughter as she meets the love of a lifetime, and undertakes the job of a lifetime.
"Take time to nourish your mind, nurture your body and feed your soul."